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Jan
28
Written by:
SAN Employee
1/28/2009
After a hectic few weeks back at work, the New Year’s celebrations may seem like a distant memory. For many people, their resolutions have already been shelved for future consideration. Does this sound familiar to you? If so, you are not alone. Research shows that the vast majority of resolutions are broken by the end of January.
For most of us, making changes in our lives is difficult no matter what time of year we set about the task. Many people who attend our team buildings and leadership development programs throughout the year feel motivated to change aspects of their behavior in pursuit of being more effective professionally and personally.
A major contributor to successfully negotiating change is our relationship to discomfort. After all, making changes to familiar patterns like communicating in a new way to colleagues, delegating and trusting employees to do things you are accustomed to doing yourself, or simply leaving the office earlier to maintain a work/life balance, causes us to step out of our comfort zone.
Most human beings move away from discomfort and gravitate to things that make us feel pleasant and comfortable. It could be that we associate discomfort with pain and our evolutionary past associates pain with danger or a threat to our very existence. Although today we mostly do not have to worry about protecting our survival, the fact is that all personal change and the resulting personal growth will initially be accompanied by a feeling of discomfort.
If you are naturally introverted, think about being the first to speak up in a meeting when your preference is to sit and observe, or if you are more extroverted, sit and listen instead of jumping in to the discussion. New behaviors will always create a feeling of discomfort before they start to feel more natural.
There is a familiar saying that courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to act in its presence. In the same way, successfully implementing a personal change is not the absence of discomfort but the ability to embrace it as a vehicle for personal growth. With that in mind, consider thinking about discomfort as a sign of progress in your battle for greater effectiveness rather than a reason to reverse direction.
How will you step out of your comfort zone in 2009?
Jon
We invite you to post a comment to share your experience with embracing change.
Copyright ©2009 Stop At Nothing, Inc.
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7 comments so far...
Re: Resolutions, Discomfort and Change
I think we are all feeling discomfort regardless of intovert/extrovert, etc. in this current global time of economic and political uncertainty. It is difficult to look forward with great positive anticipation as we are bombarded with bad, sad, or unhappy news. I certainly don't have the answers to these issues, however I am extremely thankful that I have the self awareness and tools to cope that I gained from my multiple opportunties with Stop at Nothing. I look around me and worry that others don't have those tools and the stress I see in their eyes makes me want to have a mask-making session on the spot!
By Steve Fisher, Westfield Insurance on
1/28/2009
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Re: Resolutions, Discomfort and Change
I have found discomfort an indicator either of actions (or inaction) on my part which is inconsistent with my values, or as a sign that I'm doing great with my growth. Generally, it's not hard to differentiate between the two situations and decide whether to change course or head in the same direction. Something that has really accelerated my growth in the past 6 months has been to use a support buddy. I have someone I call every morning at the same time to check in with. We have both made an individual 'daily agreement' ourselves (ie, a commitment to do something every day), and we check with each other whether we have met our daily agreement. I get to experience what it feels like to keep my word (or not!), to be supported and to offer support to someone, and to change or create a habit.
By Michelle Ockers, Australia on
1/30/2009
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Re: Resolutions, Discomfort and Change
Good stuff, Jon!
One of my favorite maxims is the fact that at any given moment we are either going into a crisis, in a crisis, or coming out of a crisis. Whether it's been a good or bad day, I tell my team to "keep breathing, it will pass."
The realization that the only thing in life that I can truly control is my personal reaction to events has been a big SAN gift for me. With the increasing press of the day to day at work, it's easy to focus only on the current crisis and lose the wide field of view is full of the opportunities that ultimately determine our happiness and suffering.
Over the years I've found that when events force a life change, that moment can be a catalyst for liberation and growth. The trick is to have the courage to feel the fear and envision that same growth opportunity, even while you fight the daily battle.
The old "chop wood, carry water" advice of our Zen masters always seems to apply. If we can use the tools and skills we've discovered in the course of our SAN experience every day, it may not change what happens to us, but it will change our relationship to it. And the result can be a much richer life, no matter what life throws at you.
By Scott Westerman, Comcast on
1/30/2009
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