Putting Ourselves Even

That key element is our sense of self-worth.

Most experts agree that self-worth is malleable. This is good news, because many of us could use a boost thanks to one key recurring behavioral pattern that we call “putting ourselves last.” This self-destructive pattern hinders our self-worth and makes it tougher for us to do good things for ourselves, like following through on commitments and resolutions. To put it another way, putting ourselves last means that we put everyone and everything else ahead of our own needs.

It’s natural to feel good about delivering on the promises and commitments we make to the people in our lives. We receive positive feedback whenever we follow through on the commitments we make to them. There’s nothing wrong with honoring commitments to others, but the knock-on effect in today’s world—with too many to-dos to get done—is that we squeeze ourselves out. Most of us wish the world would slow down, so we’d have more time for hobbies, workouts, dates with our partners, etc. This is how most of us develop the bad habit of “putting ourselves last.” We put off the things we promised we would do for ourselves, waiting for “when I have time for me,” but thanks to our lives in the fast lane, that time never shows up!

So what is the impact, and what can we do?

Putting Ourselves Down: Every time we do not honor our commitments to our selves we negatively impact our sense of self-worth. This self-defeating action tells our subconscious, “I don’t care enough about myself to do what I know would be good for me.” Ouch for self-trust and self-worth–that’s a tough message!

Respecting Ourselves: Every time we honor our commitments to ourselves, we add to our feeling of personal power and enhance our sense of self-worth. In essence, we are saying that we respect ourselves, and believe we are worthy of the benefits that will come to us as we follow through on our commitments. This is self-empowering.

Putting Ourselves Even: Staying on track with goals and resolutions means learning to give yourself the same respect that you would give to others. Think about it: if you promised your boss, your spouse, your parent, your child or your friend that you would do something for them, wouldn’t you do it? Yes, thankfully, most of the time we deliver on promises to others. We do this for many reasons, and based on good values. If we do this for others, but do not deliver on promises to ourselves, we are sending a message to our subconscious that we are not as worthy as the “not us” cast of characters who we would never let down. This is crazy!

Staying Balanced: Putting Ourselves Even doesn’t mean becoming narcissistic and only attending to our own needs and desires. We’ll have few friends if we “put ourselves first” all the time. We just need to honor our commitments to ourselves with the same enthusiasm and dedication that we have for helping others.

If you are one of the 50-60% of people who have already abandoned their New Year’s Resolutions before the end of January, it isn’t too late to get back on track. Put Yourself Even and see how good it feels, positively impacting your self-worth every time you keep your self-commitment. Do this often enough and just watch the direction your life takes!

We hope this message helps you build momentum on your resolutions, goals and self-empowerment.