A letter from one of our High Impact Leadership Series (HILS) clients

To Little Buddy,

Hey little buddy. You'll never believe it, but we're already in our late thirties. It's been over 30 years since I last saw you, felt you, and thought of you.

We have a life full of joy: a beautiful wife, two amazing children, a beautiful home, and a fantastic career. We've made it...or so I thought we did.

The word joy is an interesting one. On the exterior, our situation represents the full meaning of the word, but on the interior, we're not actually living it. See...we are missing something, you and I. Something so critical to living a life of fulfillment — the ability to connect deeply, have empathy, and be vulnerable. Without these traits, we simply cannot enjoy life to its fullest because we have no one to really share it with.

It's no one's fault, really. We just didn't learn these things growing up. Instead, we were taught to achieve success, have goals, work hard, be disciplined, and numb your feelings. Joy and success were to be measured by results, not relationships. Don't get me wrong, results do matter, but I'm here to tell you they are not the only thing. Many times, this singular focus prevented us from being present, especially in the earlier years of your two beautiful children.

But don't worry little buddy — it's not all bad. I promise you we didn't simply waste the last three decades. In fact, you grew into a man with intense ambition, discipline, grit, and accountability. You have many friends, many alliances, and you're a true leader of people. These things have established you a successful career, financial freedom, and an incredible family.

And so now, we find ourselves, little buddy, at a crossroads. One nicely paved road continuing to lead to fake joy, in a never-ending cycle of results-driven behaviors and outcomes. The other, a rugged dirt road embracing the full meaning of the word joy: littered with deep, rich relationships, health and energy, peace of mind, and total pleasure of life.

And do you know the best part? As we stand here at this crossroads, we have the tools to see both roads — that's more than most people can say. So, fret not my man...we will walk the right path. We will focus on learning and building empathy, being vulnerable by opening ourselves to our friends and creating bonds that last a lifetime — because results, outcomes, and success mean nothing if you have no one to share them with.

So where do we go from here? Well, while the right road is still dirt and not well defined, its existence is obvious. All we have to do is start walking.

Through communication, vulnerability, and empathy we will enhance our current relationships — starting first with our beautiful children, our wife, and our family. We'll leverage meditation for awareness, coaching for support, and our HILS family for accountability. We promise to be fully present for our kids, and we won't squander these last sacred years of childhood. And if we fail to be present at times...and we will...we will fail quickly and re-anchor.

Further, we'll open ourselves to others who we feel the need to share life with. Like planting a seed — slowly, over time, our relationships will grow. As our relationships grow, so too will our emotional curve. We'll turn ourselves from a results-driven flatliner to a roller coaster of feeling.

Simultaneously, we'll continue pursuing professional excellence and the big career goals we've set for ourselves. But this time, my friend, we'll truly have people to celebrate and share those accomplishments with. And throughout the journey, we'll celebrate the successes of our friends as well — not just ignore them.

Anyways, I'd like to summarize and leave you with this, little man: Always have confidence in yourself, never lose your ambition, results do matter, keep that humorous and engaging personality, and never believe vulnerability means weakness...it's just courage in disguise.

Love,

Your Older Self